My co-worker Kathleen was kind enough to bring back purple-scented wax mustaches for everyone following an outstate trip. I wore mine for a moment, then I tried to eat it, because it smelled like purple. It was chewable, but it was not edible. Kathleen was shocked, and asked me where I grew up. I told her “somewhere where things that smell like purple are always edible.” If you are interested in seeing what a three-way cross between Will Oldham, Daniel Plainview and Ralph Wiggum looks like, you are gazing upon it now.