Dubious dating practices.
One of the fun things about dating a professor* is succumbing to the temptation to look them up on the often unfair and generally awful website ratemyprofessor.com, so you can find out what all the spoiled, ungrateful kid-swine in their charge have to say about them. It’s not fair, and you wouldn’t want to take it particularly seriously, but it’s still sort of fun.
It’s mostly fun because you can mentally change the word “professor” to “girlfriend/boyfriend” (depending on the circumstances), and the word “students” to the opposite number. Then you get hilarious insider information like this:
He just is not clear about what he wants.
She is a very tough girlfriend and can be unfair.
He is a horrible boyfriend and I haven’t learned a thing.
You will get marked down if you don’t agree with her view point.
He doesn’t seem to really want to help his girlfriend.
Gives dirty looks all the time and makes you feel inferior for asking questions.
He’s kind of on a powertrip…
She is a very unhelpful girlfriend who doesn’t take time to actually listen to her boyfriend.
He is very stuck in his ways.
Those ungrateful kid-swine!
Extra Bonus Points: Employ the classic Chinese fortune cookie trick at the end.
* Just so you don’t think I am springing significant personal information on you, reader, I would like to make it very clear that I am not currently dating a professor and have not dated a professor for many, many years.
