25th February 09
- Fifteen cat ladies moved into a one-bedroom apartment.
- After a brandy-fueled evening of speechifying and posturing, they sign a declaration (“The South 12th Avenue Statement”) designating the space a collectivist socialist commune. They all sleep in the same queen-sized bed.
- They get rid of the cats.
- No one has done the dishes.
- Why did they eat so much pizza?
- All fifteen of the cat ladies murdered each other in a bloodless — yet surprisingly violent — fashion.
- Persons unknown removed the bodies.
- One the victims seems to have been hoarding a collection of men’s blazers from the other victims, which were strewn on tables, chairs and radiators in a jealousy-fueled blind rage.
- Why did they eat so much Mexican food?
Jesus Christ, this place is a mess.